Even more surprising for many readers, perhaps, was the inclusion of "use praise lavishly" in the list of questionable strategies. Written by T. David Gordon | Wednesday, June 5, 2013 . I also think it is important to say 'thank you,' … but I wouldn't praise a child who is playing or reading.”. Criticism offered cautiously and wisely can be empowering. Can Sports Make Schools More Attractive Places for Students? —Psalm 42:11 (NIV) But I will keep on hoping for your help; I will praise you more and more. It is likely to be surprising because praise for students is seen as inherently affirming and beneficial by many people and is a core element of a positive philosophy of teaching, coaching, and parenting. What Are the Main Values of a Narcissist? I think Stephen Grosz’s conclusion from this seemingly everyday event is correct and important: Being present for children builds their confidence by demonstrating that they are listened to. The Praise Problem. “She observed, she listened. This contributes greatly to what makes finding the proper amount of praise for children difficult for parents. My problem with so many of the praise choruses is that they are overly subjective, and the focus becomes “me, myself, and I” and especially my “feelings”. The initial thrill of a compliment soon gave way to a drop in self-esteem, motivation, and overall performance. And in teaching children for over 14 years, and developing world champions at various age levels, I have adopted the Praise, Correct, Praise (PCP) method which not only seems to work in the classroom but at home as well. They also showed more resilience and tended to attribute failure to lack of effort, not lack of ability. How can one not applaud the movement towards more positive approaches to education and sports? They need to be listened to, talked to seriously, and challenged. About the Author; Latest Posts; About Paula Kay Glass Paula has a Masters degree in education with an emphasis on child development and child behavior. Being present avoids an inherent risk associated with excessive praise, as with any type of reward, that the praise becomes an end in itself and the activity is merely a means to that end. But used carefully and sparingly, it can be a wonderful thing. “She observed, she listened. Being present avoids an inherent risk associated with excessive praise, as with any type of reward, that the praise becomes an end in itself and the activity is merely a means … Roughly twenty years ago, I began teaching the course on Presbyterian Denominational Standards at Gordon-Conwell Seminary. According to a report from the National Alliance for Youth Sports, over 70 percent of children drop out of organized sports by age 13. As she left the room the mother, who had been a spectator for the whole class, greeted her with open arms and said "What a great class you had today". Praise is like sugar. Being present and carefully parsing through the ideas is the better approach. Eventually, the parent, teacher, or coach simply ends up making vague, meaningless or tenuous platitudes. “Praise for successful performance on an easy task can be interpreted by a student as evidence that the teacher has a low perception of his or her ability. They also showed more resilience and tended to attribute failure to lack of effort, not lack of ability. While I think it is important children learn how to deal with the emotions of winning and loosing, the ‘not yet’ status encourages them to try again. Some children are more sensitive than others and require more nurturing, or praise. In one study from 1998, fifth-graders were asked to solve a set of moderately difficult mathematical problems and were given praise that focused either on their ability ("You did really well; you're so clever") or on their hard work ("You did really well; you must have tried really hard’). The problem with praise There is an old adage that ‘praise is like penicillin…it must not be administered haphazardly’. Only his tactics are more overt and have gotten more brash and unbelievable, to the point of far too many have come to believe and except defeat and live in a depressed and fear-based mentality God knew there … As a consequence, it can actually lower rather than enhance self-confidence. I consider this twist on the quote: The relationship between praise and a growth mindset. Believe Make Atrocities. This assumption is clearly based on the "gas gauge" model of self-esteem described earlier, viewing any negative comment as necessarily damaging, and requiring positive comments to be heaped around it in order to offset the harm. The problem with praise On October 2, 2018 By summersja I have recently become interested in the concept of Growth Mindset which has been most notably explored in depth by Carol Dweck, and which has become part of the everyday pedagogical approach in many British primary schools. I could not believe that. I find that parents, or even professional educators for that fact, are really struggling with how to give praise and yet provide constructive criticism, which is so important to a child's development as well. Well-chosen criticism, delivered in an environment of high expectations and unconditional support, can inspire learning and development, whilst poorly judged praise can do more harm than good. The researchers found that the children who had been given effort-based praise were more likely to show willingness to work out new approaches. A recent study, "What Makes Great Teaching," published by the Sutton Trust and Durham University in the U.K., identified a number of commonly supported educational practices for which there is little or no scientific evidence. What Are the Main Values of a Narcissist? The Problem with Praise Teams We should hear congregational praise when it is sung. Done well, it can help boost motivation and self-esteem. Consider sports specifically for a moment. In effect, this is the "gas gauge" theory of self-esteem, in which praise fills up the tank with good feelings and social approval, and criticism drains it. 403 Shares. Criticism as well. It is likely to be surprising because praise for students is seen as inherently affirming and beneficial by many people and is a core element of a positive philosophy of teaching, coaching, and parenting. What many might consider a commonsense approach—praising the child for being smart, clever, or "a natural"—turned out to be an ineffective strategy. The praise - correct - praise mantra has been around a long time. This assumption is clearly based on the "gas gauge" model of self-esteem described earlier, viewing any negative comment as necessarily damaging, and requiring positive comments to be heaped around it in order to offset the harm. If I remember rightly, Dweck suggests we focus our attention towards praising not only effort but process too. And the rationale for this is usually that praise bolsters self-esteem and criticism harms it. Numerous studies report that many children are put off participating in sports by an over-emphasis on winning and that this effect is especially strong among girls. When parents give praise instead of encouragement, it can cause 3 problems for their children: Anxiety Low Self-Esteem Distorted Motives The problem with praise. The not-so-obvious ways in which praise can backfire. What you (& others) think of me is more important than what I think of me. How to offer positive feedback in ways that strengthen intrinsic motivation. What Goes on Beneath the Surface When Narcissists Get Angry, Dysphoria: The Dark Side of Bipolar Mania. Voltaire. She did not do what many would have done (including me when I taught this age group) and immediately praise such a lovely drawing. I find that parents, or even professional educators for that fact, are really struggling with how to give praise and yet provide constructive criticism, which is so important to a child's development as well. Find something they did well and complement them on that, point out something they need to improve on, and complement them on the improvement when you see it. Consider sports specifically for a moment. I also think it is important to say 'thank you,' … but I wouldn't praise a child who is playing or reading.”. The problem is this: The praise you do give seems fake – it’s just a preamble to the real message. And this can cause more damage to the learner-teacher relationship than criticism. Even relatively young children can tell the difference between constructive and destructive criticism, and it is a serious and unhelpful error to conflate the two. Grosz watched as a four-year-old Stiglitz showed her a picture he had been drawing. I believe a lot of the shortcuts we take are because of the small timeframes we allow ourselves for raising, educating and correcting children. There are school programs and sports organisations based explicitly on the dual premises of plenty of praise and minimal criticism. She was present,” Grosz noted. Criticism following poor performance can, under some circumstances, be interpreted as an indication of the teacher's high perception of the student's ability.”. 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